Independent Clauses | n. —unusual words about underappreciated music

In Case You Haven’t Read it Yet:

May 1, 2007

In Case You Haven’t Read it Yet:

Below is an e-mail that was sent to the owner of Kinixtion blog by the owner of Eyeball Records. Read it for yourself, then read my column for this monthour take on it.

Hello,
We recently looked at your blog and found you’ve been distributing our record to your readers for free. How nice of you!

New Atlantic The Streets, The Sounds and The Love
http://kinixtion.blogspot.com/search…New%20Atlantic
Accessed: 632 Times

New London Fire
I Sing The Body Holographic
http://kinixtion.blogspot.com/search…0London%20Fire
Accessed: Unknown

The Number Twelve Looks Like You
Nuclear Sad Nuclear
An Inch of Gold for an Inch of Time
http://kinixtion.blogspot.com/search…0London%20Fire
Accessed: Unknown

Since we have access to the numbers for New Atlantic, I assume you’ll be sending us the wholesale amount for the copies you distributed?

632 Copies at $9.16 Wholesale = $5,789.12

The check can be made out to Eyeball Records and sent to the address below. The band will be so excited when they find out about the huge royalty check coming their way! They’re starving on the road right now so the extra money will really help!

Please also send a check for $9,160.00 for the New London Fire downloads. 1000 downloads sounds about right, They will be so excited! The singer has a wife and two kids. The money you’re sending will put food in those kids mouths! You’re a great customer.

Number Twelve is really popular. Go ahead and send us a check for $18,320.00 for that one. 2000 downloads sounds about right. The staff here can all use raises since we work damn near close to free to help these bands out. A raise will really bring morale up around here!

Just in case you choose not to send the checks, we’ll have the lawsuit ready and waiting. Look forward to your prompt response, and thanks for your business!

– Eyeball Records

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Stephen Carradini and friends write reviews of bands that are trying to make the next step in their careers.

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