Independent Clauses | n. —unusual words about underappreciated music

A Short, Biased History of Rock Music

September 9, 2004

Shut the door- turn out the lights- I’ll see you in the morning….

A Short, Biased History of Rock Music.

Welcome to real life. May I take your order? I will end up giving you orders- so don’t worry about that. You won’t end up with much, but you can have this cast-off called rock music. It’s not good for anything. It really is just annoying. Sure, someone’s getting rich off those shaggy-haired British, but it’ll fade. It will fade

It will fade- these rebellious rockers are subverting our children! We will make it fade. Smash the records, smash the records! Drumbeats are what they use to call the devil down in Africa! The devil is in the drumbeat! Smash the records! You may not listen to that! You are grounded

You are grounded young man. Do NOT play that song about “Teen Spirit” or you will have it worse. This anger is not good for a kid your age. You should not be angry. Don’t be angry at me young man, you’ll get it worse. I’m taking away your stereo

Taking away your stereo and replacing it with a dollar sign, you sold it off to buy yourself an Ipod. Your parents eventually got over the warning labels on CDs- they’re all wrong anyway. Ben Folds escapes with more twice as many curses than the Yeah Yeah Yeahs but the YYYs get the label cause they look scary. Stereotyping. There are too many stereotypes

There are too many stereotypes- we must boil them down. If we make only a few genres of music available, everyone will learn to like these genres. Everyone will love rap, punk, and dance-pop. The occasional slip will be okay- let them think there is still creativity. We own creativity. We make creativity. There will be only what we say there is

We say there is a problem with this. The IC will not stand for the same genres over and over again. The IC will not compromise musical integrity for the popularity or the parental. If it sounds good- you know it. Music will never fade

Stephen Carradini and Lisa Whealy write reviews of instrumental, folk, and singer/songwriter music. We write about those trying to make the next step in their careers and established artists.

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